It is maggots and flies and unfinished digestion.
It is a broken bowel upon waking.
It is your blood in places where it should not be.
It is all the hope and meaning in the world converted into a stinking, fucking dollar sign.
It is the acceptance of doctrine, the laughter of the powerful and beautiful,
in the face of grief and loss.
It is every shallow relationship, every forced smile.
It is everyone who has said yes and then no.
It is all that is pretend and untrue.
It is a lie,
and I have have bought into it.
Invested time in it.
I have bent my mind and my heart around it, spent my whole adult life with it and I have found it to be empty.
And because I have put this empty thing at the center of my life, it would seem that I too have become empty.
I read in a book once that people end up with the face they deserve.
In my experience this idea can be extrapolated,
to be more general.
What is done is done.
No point in crying about it.
You chose poorly.
Deal with it,
rock'n'roll.
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