time for...

more play

less thinking

more fun

less weight

more lightness

more dancing

(not that i dance but you know what i mean :)

more hills

more climbing

more sitting on hills

more seeing

less worry

sleepy

when i die
i will miss these things

music
sex
wine

cool breezes
warm days

but death means 

no more yearning

so 

i will not miss 

anything

inspired

metaphysical vomit

mendacious porno

nihilistic punchline

Answers to questions

Drift

Plan

28/12/2009

at this time of year i think a great deal about my family
mainly though
i think about my dad
not my biological dad
but the man who raised me with my mum
we have never had a great relationship
it has been worse than it is now
but it is still not great
there are things i do not like like about my dad
these qualities often come out at this time year
there are things however that i do like about him

he is
single minded
focused
guiltless


i wish i was a bit more like him
especially at this time of year

This way up!

scaffolding

your
need
for
control
highlights
your
inability
to
cope

forward

forgetting

begins

it

is

cold

and

it

feels

that

i

am

losing

have

lost

something

very

special

Christmas

all i want

is to sit

on a mountain

with

a person i love

and

watch the world

rise

and

fall

rise

and

fall

Grind

i am soft
feeling bones today

i am long
lists

i am blue-prints

i am setting up

ramps

scaffolding

in anticipation of the day
when
i forgive and excuse
my harbour of personal violence
and
just
release

Don't

Prosper

The growing of the very young
is a reminder of time passing
and
the inevitable

I want a black yin and yang t-shirt

on this Sunday

further comment seems pointless

for i am stuck in the past

and

there seems no way forward

Random self-portrait off Youtube

stale bread

i never want
to be sober again

i want
to kill everything

Relationships

Naked on a bed, covered in wine

i think what i miss most about being close to someone
is the possibility of collapsing
that gulf that exists between everyone
all of the time
being with someone physically
wanting them and loving them
in a single action
repeated over and over
it seems to leave behind the inaccuracies
of everyday language
it is my favourite thing
i miss it

it hurt to see you yesterday

nuthin

today i get nothing from nothing today i get nothing from nothing today i get nothing 
from nothing today i get nothing from nothing today i get nothing from nothing today 
i get nothing from nothing today i get nothing from nothing today i get nothing from nothing today i get nothing from nothing 

melt

in

winter cold

frozen shelter melts

and

bears eat their own

Wall