Ultivite

Every meal.
Every time I open my eyes at the beginning of every day.
I wish he wasn't dead.
But that won't change.
Gorging myself on life won't dull it.
Doesn't dull it.
I'll be dead too one day and
that is fucking that.
No action can bring solace.
No solace is worth seeking.
Because,
all are equally weighted.
That is to say that they all are weightless.
Happiness and grief.
Give me white and white and white.
Give me no shoes and shit between my toes.
So,
No to generosity of spirit.
No to moving your feet to the music.
Yes to denial.
Yes to black-out.
No to moving forward.
No to bribing myself.
No to incentive based action.

Yes to more.
Yes to more.