Thursday, June 11, 2009
Grandad
My Grandfather died at the end of last year.
I was very close to him.
He was/is one of my role models and I have been thinking about him a lot lately.
Maybe it's because of other things but I miss him at the moment more than I ever have before. I know that if he were around I could go visit him and have a bit of dinner and a glass of wine. Well, we would probably drink more than that :)
It would ground me, as it always did.
He could tell me for the millionth time how over population was at the core of the worlds' problems and how religion was its' greatest evil.
I think my Grandfather was quite influential in developing my healthy distaste for doctrine.
It is probably why I feel that all ideas and philosophies should be questioned.
Especially my own.
I could discuss anything with him.
More than I can with most people. Even more than I can with those who are most close to me. This I think is because I respected him above all others. He was not perfect, but he did have my love and respect.
My Grandfather had strength.
Resolve.
These qualities also made him very stubborn and thus infuriating on occasion.
I am a lot like him; at the moment I wish I was more like him.
I would like to have his strength and clarity, but my emotions are much wilder than his were.
For this I thank my Mum :) Truly I do, because without them I would not be able to read people or love people the way I do.
My Mum gave me my gut.
It was very hard watching him physically degenerate.
For most of his life he was very fit and used to frequent the doctor probably more often than he needed to. I think the attention he paid to his health made him find the degeneration of his body even more insulting.
It saddens me that if I ever have children (the production of which he would disapprove of no doubt :) they will never meet him.
I need to talk to him.
I wish he was here.
But he is not.
I was very close to him.
He was/is one of my role models and I have been thinking about him a lot lately.
Maybe it's because of other things but I miss him at the moment more than I ever have before. I know that if he were around I could go visit him and have a bit of dinner and a glass of wine. Well, we would probably drink more than that :)
It would ground me, as it always did.
He could tell me for the millionth time how over population was at the core of the worlds' problems and how religion was its' greatest evil.
I think my Grandfather was quite influential in developing my healthy distaste for doctrine.
It is probably why I feel that all ideas and philosophies should be questioned.
Especially my own.
I could discuss anything with him.
More than I can with most people. Even more than I can with those who are most close to me. This I think is because I respected him above all others. He was not perfect, but he did have my love and respect.
My Grandfather had strength.
Resolve.
These qualities also made him very stubborn and thus infuriating on occasion.
I am a lot like him; at the moment I wish I was more like him.
I would like to have his strength and clarity, but my emotions are much wilder than his were.
For this I thank my Mum :) Truly I do, because without them I would not be able to read people or love people the way I do.
My Mum gave me my gut.
It was very hard watching him physically degenerate.
For most of his life he was very fit and used to frequent the doctor probably more often than he needed to. I think the attention he paid to his health made him find the degeneration of his body even more insulting.
It saddens me that if I ever have children (the production of which he would disapprove of no doubt :) they will never meet him.
I need to talk to him.
I wish he was here.
But he is not.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Form and repetition
Tonight I lost myself in form and repetition.
I was shown where to put my feet, hands and how to stand.
I was shown how to strike and how to defend.
I punched a bag until my left hand bruised.
In this activity I lost myself.
The world was no bigger than
the deck I stood on and all I knew was that I was moving.
The peace that this has brought me is similar to
that which I take from making art.
It is different though.
It is unique and something I have never felt and now,
I want more.
I was shown where to put my feet, hands and how to stand.
I was shown how to strike and how to defend.
I punched a bag until my left hand bruised.
In this activity I lost myself.
The world was no bigger than
the deck I stood on and all I knew was that I was moving.
The peace that this has brought me is similar to
that which I take from making art.
It is different though.
It is unique and something I have never felt and now,
I want more.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Where the body goes the mind will follow
Ride to Southbank, have a coffee.
Ride to The University of Queensland up Annerly Road.
Ride to the city along Coronation Drive.
Get a massage for half an hour.
Buy some weights for ten dollars.
The sun is shining and the sky is very blue.
It's beautiful and warm.
Ride to QUT at Gardens Point.
Use the pool.
Laps for 45 minutes.
Ride to Southbank.
Talk to old friends.
Run into more friends.
Ride to Paddington.
Run into more old friends.
Organise Kung-Fu on Wednesday after work.
Ride back to Southbank.
Eat lunch.
It is a perfect duck breast and a glass of french Pinot Noir.
Talk to another old friend.
Ride home to New Farm.
Do weights.
Talk to your cousin on the phone.
Have a shower.
Towel off.
Start to watch Boston Legal.
Get dressed.
Wait for family to arrive.
You have begun to find your center again.
Your feet feel the earth.
Your sense of balance stabilises.
You start to walk.
A character in a bad movie (that I love!) once said
that walking the path is different
to knowing the path.
I agree, simply walking is enough.
Ride to The University of Queensland up Annerly Road.
Ride to the city along Coronation Drive.
Get a massage for half an hour.
Buy some weights for ten dollars.
The sun is shining and the sky is very blue.
It's beautiful and warm.
Ride to QUT at Gardens Point.
Use the pool.
Laps for 45 minutes.
Ride to Southbank.
Talk to old friends.
Run into more friends.
Ride to Paddington.
Run into more old friends.
Organise Kung-Fu on Wednesday after work.
Ride back to Southbank.
Eat lunch.
It is a perfect duck breast and a glass of french Pinot Noir.
Talk to another old friend.
Ride home to New Farm.
Do weights.
Talk to your cousin on the phone.
Have a shower.
Towel off.
Start to watch Boston Legal.
Get dressed.
Wait for family to arrive.
You have begun to find your center again.
Your feet feel the earth.
Your sense of balance stabilises.
You start to walk.
A character in a bad movie (that I love!) once said
that walking the path is different
to knowing the path.
I agree, simply walking is enough.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Top five films in no particular order
Blade Runner
Aliens
Wall Street
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Heat
I grew up with these films and have watched them compulsively all my life.
My taste is not particularly refined but it's honest!
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