It is September 2011. Cool morning air quickly gives way to the fumes of the traffic, the oncoming heat of the day. Spring will be summer ahead of time. I'm standing on Brunswick St waiting for my bus thinking about the last month focusing mainly on love and art and what will happen in the remaining months of the year. Recent events have determined that I'll go into this new season with an equal measure of sadness and guilt. You may wonder how I feel now that we will not see each other for a long while. Those are the emotions, sadness and guilt.
Our mutual loss flatters us. Me especially. Choosing between your faith and me. What a decision to make. Even if I didn't get what I wanted it was flattering to be involved in such an important decision.
Crying while fucking. It's our beautiful and terrible addition to the Mills and Boon melodrama of the world. More importantly it is that the key piece of evidence that truly illustrates the pain of your decision. Id like to think it does at least. With out a doubt it is the rawest expression of love lost anyone has ever shared with me. Perhaps there is one exception but that was a long time ago. With that in mind, and it is my intention to keep this as my primary moderator on my thoughts on this, that there is a very special privilege in this loss.
I am thankful for this experience and your love, however brief.
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