My feelings and thoughts are contrary and persistent.
Contrary in as much as my reason dislocates me from my feelings.
It would be nice to have the two run parallel and resonate from time to time, but that rarely happens.
Contrary in as much as this fresh hurt feels like an old ache.
I know this love can only injure you and I the longer it continues. and it is the fear of this that has motivated my/our decision.
Fear and reason have taken me from you.
Fear of being mangled and torn in an uncontrollably, intense emotional way.
The last time I felt this way it took me years to get over it and I truly fear that I'm in that position again.
Once again however it is my decision.
Me inflicting hurt on both parties.
I feel weaker for having made this decision and it is has made me less happy.
Reason can be moronic in the short term and it does nothing to compensate me for the loss I feel over not being able to be with you.