my friends no longer dare to talk to me about you. for i withdraw and sour. it makes me remember you in full. all of the wonderful things. all of the things about you that hurt me. i am tired of caring about you, how i have lost you. im not even sure really what it is i have lost? for i never really had you did i? i just remember a mountain of love and a sequence of beautiful experiences and then collapse. the most precise, blood chilling hurt i have ever felt. now your image is degrading. i guess that is a good thing. i wish i came with a reset button. memory wipe. emotional delete. access to a permanent goodbye.